Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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