everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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