just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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