that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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