what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
