I molested 6 butterflies tonight
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
