didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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