If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
