i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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