...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Randomize
