this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
