Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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