Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
