i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
