Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
