i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize