Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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