I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
