and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
