He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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