Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We talked him into tasing himself.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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