i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he laminated a picture of his dick.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
