Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
