Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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