So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
