she told me i tasted like america
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
