it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just invented taco cereal.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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