I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
