You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
