So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
