The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
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