My brain says no but my pants say off.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
