There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
this will be a night to untag.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
