your thong is hanging out like whoa
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
