I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
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