My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize