i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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