You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
