your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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