You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
