what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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