I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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