I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
