Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
