You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize