i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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