Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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