I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize