and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
