Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My pussy is not your playground.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
