When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
