would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
do herpes really smell.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm like, not good at living.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
