I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
