Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
