so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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