Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
