i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
