wanna go halves on a baby?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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