Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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