if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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