and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Welp...herpes.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
