He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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