All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
