Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
